TOP 10 THINGS I LEARNED WATCHING TELEVISION IN THE 1970s

A blow to the head will give you amnesia. A second blow to the head will cure it.
Inner-city children have more wit than Oscar Wilde.
War is bad, but often very funny.
Hundreds of years in the future, there will still be feathered hair.
Save your money until you have six million dollars in the bank. You can then survive a plane crash, but you will also have to fight Bigfoot. Several times.
If a friend tells you your blind date has a great personality, she’s ugly as sin. If you meet her and she turns out to be beautiful, you’ve got the wrong girl.
You can jump your car halfway across a county because it’s pretty much made of rubber.
Receptionists are always the smartest women in the office (the job is never held by a man.)
Only smart people wear glasses, but they have atrocious social skills. (Unless they’re a superhero in disguise, that is).
Urban law-enforcement officers are tough and dedicated. Rural ones are corrupt and inefficient.